Things I have learned thus far in this trial.........

I am writing today smack dab in the middle of hip replacement recovery. 2 weeks ago yesterday was D day. Lets just say the fun has definitely worn off. The idea of spending most of my day in bed having people waiting on me and meeting my every need sounds really exciting but in reality it is just plain boring. I have come to the realization that enduring this trial with grace is my goal. I have been humbled having my Peyton dress me. Having my mother as a nurse is wonderful but honestly I should be serving her. Having lazy days watching movies with Paige and discussing teen culture has been priceless.

Nelson is thrilled that I have so much time on my hands that I make thought provoking statements that make his head spin. Just an example I asked him when do teenagers think before they act? When does that part of their brain actually kick in? Because I am sure it has got to be sometime soon.

I have loved spending hours listening to new worship songs and watching hours of my favorite pastors online. What a treat indeed. If you have not heard Todd Agnew's new CD it is well worth the time. He is a personal favorite of mine. He did a concert many years ago at a chick-fil-a near my house completely intimate just his guitar and a stool outside I have been a fan every since. Plus he is a local kid from a local church and that is kinda cool.

I have watched more TV than I care to admit. Seriously after awhile all the shows start to run together and sound alike.

I dream of a the day when I can be the wife and mother again I was born to be. I am so grateful for all the friends and family that have been so generous with their time and money to make sure we have everything we need. Being the one in need and accepting the need is so much harder than serving someone else. I do not want to sound ungrateful it is just that I would much prefer to be in service to someone.

Down for the count...........

Well the count down until my hip revision surgery has begun. I have less than a month to prepare for being away from home and in all honesty completely out of control of ANYTHING. I find myself thinking God has got to be amused at me first even thinking I had control of ANYTHING.

The past few months I have learned many lessons. One being that I still had some deep emotions and fears from the past involving my car accident 21 years ago this January. It is amazing to me how smells in the hospital and noises from machines can trigger memories that reminded me of a very dark time. I accepted Christ when I was 16 but he did not become real and Lord of my life until that time in my life. Many many blessing came from that year more than just my physical body was restored. So I was really surprised to see the emotions and fears return full force. Most people say fear comes from the unknown but in my case my fear comes from knowing exactly what is to come.

Jesus showed me AGAIN the verse 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind. So with that verse I began reciting it aloud OVER and OVER again. I am completely confidant that God is going to handle all the details needed for me to be away and then back home basically needing the house to run because I know that the world will not stop.

My fears are now thoughts of peace and calmness that whatever happens is God's perfect will for me. My children will survive and get to where they need to be and not feel abandoned. The laundry,cleaning and meals will get done as well. My girls are wonderful and probably reading this and getting mad that I still think of them as if they were still 2 and 4 years old. I feel Jesus is telling me very loud and clear all those things are just not that important Martha!!!

The past few months of my life coming to a screeching halt literally, has made me find lots of time to pray and just sit at the feet of Jesus. Knowing that the laundry and the cleaning and the bills can wait. And for that I am grateful and feel blessed that he chose me to go through this trial.

Thanksgiving- 2009

TWO ARE BETTER THAN ONE

Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

From the beginning of time, God made it clear that it is not good for His people to be alone (Gen. 2:18). God designed us to cooperate. Throughout the Scriptures He speaks of His people as a community that accomplishes more together than separately. God did not create us as isolated individuals, each seeking to achieve our own goals. Rather, the success of our endeavors depends upon our interdependence. This is why He established the Church and released His Holy Spirit to empower the community of believers to spread the gospel. We are to be a kingdom of priests (1 Pet. 2:9).

During difficult times it is critical that we are walking in fellowship with other Christians. When a crisis hits, it is overwhelming to face it alone. But if we have cultivated supportive friendships, we will find strength in the comfort and encouragement of those who care about us. Interdependence is also a safeguard for us when we are lured by temptation. The consistent testimony of those who have fallen to temptation is that they isolated themselves from other believers and were not held accountable by Christian friends.

If you are not a part of a caring community of believers, you are missing out on what God designed you for. You are also in danger of falling into sin. You must link your life with others who are seeking God’s will. Seek to be a person who willingly joins others in carrying out God’s assignments. Strive to be the source of support and encouragement that those around you need.

Thank you to my life group and many friends and family that prayed for me concerning my upcoming surgery. I feel incredibly blessed to have such amazing friends and family that I can share the burden with on this side of heaven. Living in community IS the only way.

Best of Bracken

Here is a few pix from last night at the varsity game. The team traveled to Fredricksburg. Madeline was so excited to cheer on a REAL football field. Most of the christian schools we travel to do not have the funds for a big field so this night was especially exciting. The middle school had a home game at the same time so it made it difficult for us with two cheerleaders and one of us out of town on a much needed hunting trip. I am sure you can guess who that might be. The air is cool here now so the windows are open and the A/C off. I love the fall here.

What have I done?.......................

Okay seriously I think I need more to do. I was having a break in my day of mounds of laundry several days ago and I got on the computer to see what was going to be on The Dr. Phil show that day so that I could be entertained with more mindless useless information while I folded no lie about 10 loads of clothes.

On the web page it had a comment that read something like "Are you a stay at home mom that feels that daycare is doing an injustice to kids today" or something to that affect. For some reason it just jumped out at me. And before I knew it I was writing this long and passionate essay about the benefits of being a stay at home mom. When I was writing it I was thinking to myself "do they REALLY read all of these? surely not! What could it hurt to just get some time to vent on a subject that has been near and dear to my heart for the 16 years that I have been a mother.

Well 3 or 4 days later I get a call on my cell phone from a producer from the Dr. Phil show. I was completely floored they even read my letter let alone that they found it worthy of discussing further. I was shaking from the inside out. They asked me many questions concerning my thoughts on the subject. They asked if I would appear on the show if they picked me to part of a friendly debate. I hesitated for a minute not thinking what would I say on the show etc.. I was thinking wow I better stop eating now TV puts 10 pounds on ya. I have been through several producers and lots of personal questions, like do you have any visible tattoo's or scaring or piercings etc. Have I ever been hospitalized for a mental illness, am I currently taking any medication etc...They explained to me that these questions are asked to anyone appearing on the show. Lord I hope that is true!! If not I could be in trouble.

I am not sure they will pick me but just to be called was validation enough for me. It made my day!!!! Stay tuned...........

When the show emailed me that they wanted recent family photo's. Anyone that knows me knows that I am horrible at remembering to take pictures. I went through my entire computer and found 1 picture taken in the last year that had all 4 of us in it. I had to send the pictures that day so I knew CA time is at least 2 hours behind so I asked everyone to get dressed we are taking pictures outside in 1 hour. Well the sun was going down but this is what we got.

Cheer Uniforms and Miss Mailey

The girls and I took a girls only trip to Lubbock to see my new niece and spend Father's day with my dad. It was so nice to see my dad on father's day. I have missed way to many years. We are anxiously awaiting my parents move to Austin so that we can see them on a regular basis.

The weekend was spent getting to know my new niece. She is just precious and really is a good baby that sleeps. Praise God! She looks just like her daddy and her big sister. I loved getting to just stare at her she is just perfect.

I really should have posted the things separate but I am getting lazy recently with all the stuff going on. The girls had their final fitting for their cheer uniforms on Monday. For Madeline this has been a dream of hers since 7th grade. She was so excited to actually have it on. I just forget sometimes that kids just really savor the moment and make life so much fun. Peyton loved meeting back up again with all her new cheer buddies. The girls have got a very busy fall coming up sooner than they realize. I just pray none of the games overlap.